Last week I gave you a few tips on how to keep your New Years Resolutions.  The trick is to avoid using willpower to achieve your goals.  Remember, will power creates won’t power. Before you know it your initial enthusiasm to change your ways will be replaced by resistance and a lack of motivation.  How can you bring a new graceful habit into your life and avoid the will power/won’t power struggle?  Here are a few final tips: Podcast: Play in new window | Download 1. Just do it.  If we asked ourselves every morning, Do I really want...

As you have probably experienced, most New Years resolutions aren’t kept. I think I know why. It has to do with how we go about keeping them. As the previous year draws to a close, it’s only natural that we look back and resolve to do better in the coming year. We say, “This year, I’m going to lose weight (stop smoking, get it shape, drink less, etc).” What is wrong with that? you might ask. The problem arises from relying on will power to accomplish our goals. Ever notice how motivated and excited we are to begin working on our resolution?...

Imagine you are painting the walls of a small room in your house.  Your 3 year old walks in and says, “Can I help you paint?”  Your first thought might be, Hmm, her helping is going to mean a big mess that I will have to clean up. You say to her, “Thanks, sweetie, but I don’t need any help right now. I think I’m okay doing this myself.” It’s an understandable response but, over time, I have come to believe it is the wrong one. If I had it to do over again (I have been in this exact situation), I’d put a little bit of paint into a container,...

Many people understand the value of forgiveness.  They intrinsically know that holding onto resentments hurts them.  The old expression, “resentment is a poison pill you take hoping the other person will die” has a lot of merit and makes forgiveness that much more important in the achievement of peace and happiness in our lives.  In my work with hundreds of couples and individuals over the past 30 years, I’ve observed that couples who don’t forgive each other greatly reduce their experience of intimacy, trust and passion.  Children who don’t...

The holidays bring with them the potential for considerable stress and anxiety.  Most folks can’t help but have hopes and expectations and if these aren’t met, upset feelings are right around the corner.  Unmet expectations and thwarted intentions (the major causes of upsets) occur more frequently around family gatherings.  So how can we be with the people in our lives who mean  the most to us without burnouts or breakdowns?  Here are some tips: 1.  Brief and Debrief Instead of just walking headlong into the holidays hoping for the best,...

Empowerment has become an overused buzz word these days. Every one wants to be empowered and wants to empower those around them but what does that actually mean? I came upon a good example that demonstrates the value of an empowered work staff. A while ago, I rented a car from Enterprise at the Ft. Lauderdale airport.  When I returned to the airport, I was anticipating the usual long line of cars and a long wait for the inspector to record my mileage and give me my final receipt.  I’ve noticed over the years that the guys who check you in when you return...