For more years than I am comfortable admitting, I harbored a great deal of resentment toward my parents.  Over time I had built quite an airtight case against them.  I blamed them for being too strict  and for my feeling pressured to live up to their expectations.  I resented my mom for her critical judgments of my girlfriends, my hair length,  my sideburns and for all of her unsolicited comments that I was sure ruined my self-esteem and contributed to my self-consciousness around others.  I resented my father for openly criticizing my diet, my non-traditional...

During my years in graduate school, I was fortunate enough to spend the summers at my parents’ vacation home on the Chester River near Chestertown, MD.  During the week I was there by myself. I cut the grass and did a few chores but I had a lot of free time, too.  We had a sailboat called the O’Day Rhodes 19 that I sailed almost every day. After about 4 years I wanted to sell her.  She sailed beautifully but she required a lot of maintenance and I was hoping we could acquire a self-bailing all-Fiberglas boat that would require less care. Of course,...

My dad once told me a story about how he decided to become a doctor.  It was because of his 10th grade science teacher.  Here he was, the 9th of 10 children, going through school with no particular distinction.  Years earlier, his mom had lied about his age and had gotten him into first grade when he was only five— evidently to get him out from under her feet at home.  Now he was in the 10th grade, younger and smaller than everyone else.  One day, his science teacher took him aside and said, “You know, you really have a natural ability in science. ...

My brother called me the other day very excited about a new mantra he just started using.  It wasn’t really a mantra in the way we usually think about them—some word that you say over and over again in your mind during meditation.  It was more like a little expression or affirmation he could repeat often that would remind him of his beliefs and his values.  In this case the expression was, “Everything’s working out for me.”  Of course, he couldn’t prove that this statement was true because it was just his interpretation of events but it was...

Have you noticed over the past ten years how many of us have become more selective about what we put in our mouths?  I used to be a somewhat unconscious omnivore back in the day.  Now I’m likely to pay close attention to what I eat.  Sugar on an empty stomach is now a no-no, wheat is suspect, and dairy and I are not the good friends we used to be.  It’s not just that we have become more educated over time about the deleterious (Can you say trans fats?) or anti-aging (You want blueberries with that?) effects of different foods on our bodies.  We’ve...

One of the greatest dancers of all time was Fred Astaire, a movie star in many 1930’s and 40’s musicals. He was the master of grace and style. Off camera, Fred Astaire would occasionally do something unexpected on the ballroom floor. After dancing with a professional partner for a few minutes, he would disengage from her and grab the hand of a woman seated in the audience inviting her by his gesture to dance. Within a few seconds she was dancing beautifully with him and their movements almost seemed choreographed. People were immediately suspicious...